How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize