there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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