The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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