I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
