she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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