Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
