Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
