I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
