Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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