i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
