She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
honey bunches of taint.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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