Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
