My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
