U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
