hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
These tits shall not be calmed
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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