your parents love me but you hate me
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
