You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I need to sanitize my soul.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
