sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
