She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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