There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
