I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
