i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
