i don't like sucking hair
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
