I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
