Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
