yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My ass is underappreciated
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
