i think i have herpe
just one?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
