oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
