Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
