Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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