I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
