do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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