Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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