Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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