so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
