my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
After tacos, we're chasing women.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
