ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
someone owes me an orgasm
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
