My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
