I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
