She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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