god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
