do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
