how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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