We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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