mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
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