drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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