I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
