Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
