I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Randomize
