She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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