We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
