hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
