haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
