i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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