It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
