note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
