well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I feel like a drive thru vagina
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
