There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
