No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
