Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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