Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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