The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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