do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
