I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
