gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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