he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
