i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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