Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
