My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize